We Need to Talk About Mental Health
Blog # 4: We Need to Talk About Mental Health
Having just watched on Netflix the brilliant Documentary Watch Untold: Breaking Point about tennis player Mardy Fish and his struggles with mental health as an athlete and person, I am once again reminded how much more we need to bring the mental health conversation into the spotlight. In this great documentary, Fish is so vulnerable and brave as he tries to bring awareness and de-stigmatization to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
As a huge tennis fan, I remember being shocked when at the last minute he pulled out of his 2012 Round of 16 U.S. Open night match against Roger Federer due to his excessive anxiety. He took a lot of criticism for that by people who do not know enough about mental health. It reminds me of some of the same criticism Simona Biles took for dropping out of her events last Olympics due to her mental condition. Unfortunately, people who have not struggled with severe mental illness or know someone very, very close to them who has, are still way too ignorant about how severe and critical of an issue this is.
As someone who has dealt with some of these issues myself, as a parent of two young children, and as an educator for over 20 years, I have been extremely touched by the issue of mental health. I have seen the sad rise in depression, anxiety, OCD, ADD, etc in my students over the years. Luckily, some schools and families (and even society as a whole) are finally starting to take much overdo and needed steps to bring these issues to the forefront of our minds. I am so happy to hear some of my students bravely and vulnerably discussing their own struggles and willingness to accept help. I am so pleased by the progress. Much more is needed, however.
In the Fish documentary, as I have seen and felt in my own life as a serious athlete, he talks about the idea of toughing it out, acting like you are okay, and not wanting to be stigmatized as weak or different. This may be especially true for young men. Unfortunately, this is exactly the wrong approach to healing and helping others get better. Instead, we need to tell people they are not bad or crazy for having these intense struggles; they are sick and they need a little help to get well. Just as if someone has cancer we can give them medicine and support groups or therapy to help, so too we need to use those exact tools to help those struggling with mental illness.
Sadly, mental illness is an invisible disease, and so, so many people walk around faking like they are okay because of the stigma it still holds. They may also not even know they are dealing with an illness. It is the same with addiction: addicted people are not bad and immoral, they are sick and need help. Many, if not most times, it is not their fault; they simply have the predisposed genes and have had to go through certain experiences that triggered those illnesses (epigenetics–our genes are predisposed in certain directions and then experiences impact our genes as well ).
These people need to know they can ask for help, and that they are not alone. That is why I think it is so great that people like Biles, Fish, Michael Phelps and other celebrities are finally talking about their struggles with mental health. Like with the gay community, the more people that “come out”, the more others will feel okay to do so, and the more all of society will learn about these issues. They will see they strike all kinds of people, many of whom seem quite “normal” and successful. Many of whom they know and respect. It will surprise them.
I know as a kid, as a serious athlete and student, I felt like I had to keep things inside, like I could not show weakness or ask for help, and simply had to “tough it out.” In addition, coming from a privileged upper middle class background, I thought “what do I have to complain about?” Look at all of the other people in the world with “real” problems. My problems are not that bad, right? I also was not even aware of what medical depression or anxiety was. What I have come to realize, though, is that we all have our own struggles, and mental illness or addiction can strike anyone. They are equal opportunity diseases.
If I had seen more of the athletes or people I looked up to talking about these issues, it would have helped me. If schools had been talking about these things, it would have helped. If my parents and friends and families knew more about it, it would have helped. We need to create a culture where all of us (even strong, tough males) feel okay talking about our feelings and asking for help. Thanks to people like Mardy Fish, Simona Biles, Michael Phelps, and others, we are finally getting there.
We have a long way to go, though.